​Imagine this: The figurehead of China is extended a grand invitation by the leader of the United Kingdom, setting the stage for a grand diplomatic event. Over a year of meticulous planning ensues, orchestrated with precision, from the careful selection of dignitaries to the crafting of an exquisite menu. Every detail is scrutinised, down to the most delicate arrangements, as the banquet tables themselves require nearly five days of tireless effort.
 
This is the actual case of when the former Queen Elizabeth invited President Xi Jinping in October 2015.  On royal.uk.com it states, “preparations for a State Banquet begin well over a year in advance, but the final build of the State Banquet table starts around five days ahead of the arrival of the visiting Head of State…. every element of the State Banquet is inspected, checked and approved by The Queen, right down to every last detail.”
 
Elevating The Dining Experience
Now, we will never have to prepare for a state banquet, thank goodness! However, from time to time, we will put on a formal event, and knowing what to and how to do it is the key to keeping the pressure down and enjoying hosting. Setting the table is more than just a practical task; it's an art form that elevates the dining experience.
 
A beautifully set table creates an inviting atmosphere, signalling thoughtfulness and care for your guests.  It transforms mealtime into a special occasion, enhancing the enjoyment of food and conversation.  Whether a casual family dinner or a formal gathering, a well-appointed table sets the tone for a memorable experience. Here is a simple step-by-step guide to help you create a perfect table setting:

​The Table

• Placemats: These add a pop of colour and protect your table. Choose a material and pattern that complements your dinnerware.
• Tablecloth: For a more dressed-up look, opt for a tablecloth. Choose a colour or pattern that suits your occasion. White is the most formal colour to use, though in some countries, it is seen as a colour of mourning.
• Centrepiece: Choose a centrepiece that complements your table setting and doesn't obstruct guests' view. If you use flowers or candles, ensure they are not scented, or the scents can fight with the aromas and flavours of everything you serve. 
• Napkin: Fold your napkins into a simple shape like a square or rectangle. Place the napkin on the dinner plate or bread plate. Never put the napkin in the wine or water glass, and never place utensils on it.
• Salt and Pepper: Add salt and pepper cellars should be added to the table for guest use.

 
Silverware

• Silverware, also known as cutlery or flatware, is used for eating.
• Fork: Place the dessert fork to the left of the plate first, then the main fork, and lastly, on the outside of the entrée fork.
• Knife: Place the main knife to the right of the plate with the blade facing inward, then the entrée knife.  Your silverware setting is not yet complete.
• Spoon: If serving soup, place the spoon to the right of the knife and the dessert spoon next to the plate and left side of the main knife.

 
Glassware

• Provide appropriate glassware for different alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages (red or white wine, champagne, etc.).
• Water glass: This is typically the largest glass and is placed at the top right, above the main knife.
• Red wine glass: This is placed to the right of the water glass. Red wine is usually served with the main course.
• White wine glass: This is placed to the right of the red wine glass. White wine is generally served with appetisers or fish courses.
• Champagne flute or dessert wine glass: If serving champagne or dessert wine, these glasses are placed in the centre above the other glasses.

 
Plateware

• Service plates, chargers, or place plates: These act as the foundation plate for the table setting and are generally removed prior to the dessert course.
• Dinner Plate: Place the dinner plate in the centre of each placemat or directly on the tablecloth if you are using a service plate.
• Dinner Plate: Place the dinner plate in the centre of each placemat, directly on the tablecloth, or, if you are using a service plate, on top of that.
• Bread Plate and Butter Knife:  Optionally, place a small bread plate above the forks, and a butter knife across it, blade facing inward.

• Pro Tip: If serving multiple courses, start with the outermost utensils and work your way in as the courses progress.
• Pro Table Setting Tip: Never place any utensils on napkins when setting a table.

 
Remember
Creating a welcoming and inviting atmosphere for your guests starts with a beautifully set table. While formal place settings can be intimidating, informal settings are much more relaxed and allow for greater creativity.  The key to a successful table setting is to consider the type of meal you're serving and the overall atmosphere you want to create.

The internet is full of well-meaning but inaccurate information, and infographics about "plate language" are a prime example.  Here's a breakdown of the truth behind these myths and some genuine restaurant etiquette tips:
 
Myth Busters

• Ready for the Next Course—Your server will look for you and your table and know when to clear your plates for the next course.
• Disliked Course—If you dislike the course, it is your responsibility to speak to the server or maître d' and see what the restaurant can do for you. Remember to leave most of the meal on the plate. If you eat it all, you buy it!
• Excellent Course—Don't hold back; tell your server verbally. This will ensure more attention is paid to your table.
• Pausing and Resting—It is the wrong method of pausing. See the next slide.
• Your Service Was Bad—If the server's service was particularly bad, it is your responsibility to inform the maître d'.
• Bring the Complaints Book—Are you joking???  What restaurant has this book?

 
Please note that no restaurant on this earth has ever taught their staff the above 'plate language', and in my lifetime of eating at restaurants, have I ever seen a business associate, friend or family do this either?

​Genuine Restaurant Etiquette Tips

• Pausing—As set out below, There are two types of pausing indicators. The one you use will depend on the continent you are dining on.
• Finishing—As set out below, There are two types of finishing indicators. The one you use will depend on the continent in which you are dining.
• Non-Verbal Cues—A slight head tilt towards your server or making eye contact can subtly indicate that you're ready for the next course.
• Communication is Key— If you have any issues with your meal, politely speak to your server or the manager. They'll be happy to help rectify the situation.
• Verbal Appreciation—While not essential, a genuine compliment to your server about the food or service goes a long way.
• Thank You—Always express your gratitude to the staff for their service.

Conclusion
By following these simple tips, you can ensure a smooth and enjoyable dining experience for yourself and those around you. Remember, etiquette is about being respectful and courteous, not about following a rigid set of rules.
​
Bonus Tip
Be mindful of your phone use at the table. Consider putting it away so you can fully engage in conversation and appreciate the company you're with.

​Designer Tommy Hilfiger stated in Vanity Fair about Grace Kelly… “I began to really study icons of style. Grace stood out. Style is enduring and forever. It’s something you cannot buy. There is a chic-ness to conservative style done in an elegant way.”
 
Grace Kelly, Princess of Monaco, epitomised the essence of quiet luxury long before it became a defined concept. Known for her timeless beauty and sophisticated style, Grace Kelly favoured clothing and accessories that spoke of elegance and quality rather than ostentation.
 
Is Quite Luxury a Thing?
In a world saturated with flashy logos and ostentatious displays of wealth, quiet luxury has emerged as a refined and sophisticated alternative.  It's about quality over quantity, timeless elegance over fleeting fashion, and substance over superficiality. Quiet luxury is not about flaunting wealth but cultivating an elegant lifestyle that speaks volumes through simplicity and attention to detail.  Let's explore the art of quiet luxury and discover how to incorporate it into your lifestyle.
 
How to Dress Quiet Luxury
Quiet luxury isn't about spending lavishly; it's about spending wisely. It's about investing in timeless, durable, and exceptional-quality pieces. It’s about creating a serene and refined environment that reflects your personal taste.
 
Grace Kelly’s wardrobe was characterised by classic silhouettes, neutral colours, and impeccable tailoring, often created by renowned designers but always chosen for their craftsmanship rather than their logos. Even after becoming a princess, Kelly maintained her discreet approach to fashion, selecting pieces that exuded an effortless refinement rather than bold statements. Her understated yet impeccable style inspires those who appreciate the subtlety and grace that define true luxury.
 
Unlike her contemporaries, she shunned overt branding and flashy logos. Instead, she embraced timeless classics, favouring quality over quantity. Her wardrobe was a carefully curated collection that exuded sophistication without screaming for attention. A simple cashmere sweater, a tailored coat, or a classic Hermès scarf were staples in her wardrobe, demonstrating that true luxury lies in enduring pieces rather than fleeting trends.

​How to Identify Quite Luxury – Clothing

• Invest in High-Quality Basics: Start with classic wardrobe staples like a well-fitted blazer, a crisp white shirt, and tailored trousers.  These items are the foundation of quiet luxury and can be mixed and matched for various occasions.
• Choose Neutral Colours: Neutral tones like beige, navy, black, and white are synonymous with quiet luxury. They’re versatile, elegant, and never go out of style.
• Focus on Fabric and Fit: The true mark of luxury lies in the details. Invest in clothing made from high-quality materials like cotton, linen, cashmere, silk, and fine wool. Additionally, prioritising well-fitted clothing should perfectly complement your body shape.
• Opt for Discreet Branding: Quiet luxury shuns overt logos. Look for brands known for their quality and craftsmanship rather than their name. The beauty of these pieces lies in their subtlety and the knowledge that they were made with care.

 
The Quite Luxury Mindset
BBC’s article How Grace Kelly Overcame Shyness To Become Hollywood Royalty, stated, “While she gave all of her time and energy to Hollywood, she kept her private life separate. She insisted on sharing a modest rented apartment instead of buying a home – proof that she could go back to New York any time. Hollywood had nothing to offer her besides the pleasure of acting. She didn’t need money and she didn’t like fame and she wasn’t hungry for anyone’s approval.”
 
Beyond fashion, Grace Kelly's quiet luxury extended to her lifestyle. She valued privacy, cultivated genuine connections, and enjoyed simple pleasures. Her ability to carry herself with poise and grace without needing constant validation is a testament to the enduring power of understated elegance. So, how can we have quite a luxury mindset?

​How to Identify Quite Luxury – The Person

• Avoid Boasting: Refrain from mentioning the cost of items, brand names, or the exclusivity of your experiences. Instead, talk about the joy or fulfilment these things bring you without emphasising their material value.
• Use Subtle Language: When discussing travel or possessions, frame them in a way that highlights their personal significance rather than their luxury aspect. For example, talk about the cultural experiences of a trip rather than the five-star accommodations.
• Ask Questions: Show genuine interest in others by asking about their lives, interests, and experiences. Listen actively and allow the conversation to revolve around them rather than sharing details about your wealth or luxury experiences.
• Celebrate Achievements Discreetly: When discussing your successes, focus on the hard work and lessons learned rather than the financial or material rewards.
• Be Gracious: Acknowledge your privileges humbly and avoid making others feel inferior. Gratitude and a down-to-earth attitude go a long way in creating rapport.
• Protect Personal Information: Be selective about what you share, especially regarding your finances, possessions, or personal life. Maintain a level of privacy that keeps others curious but never fully informed.
• Cultivate Relationships with Discreet Individuals: Spend time with those who share your values of modesty and discretion. They’ll reinforce and support your desire to lead a low-key, meaningful life.
• Engage in Meaningful Conversations: Steer discussions towards topics of substance, such as art, literature, culture, and personal growth, rather than materialism or status.

 
Conclusion
Grace Kelly's legacy inspires those seeking a more meaningful and refined approach to luxury.  Grace Kelly, the epitome of quiet luxury, redefined elegance for generations. 

According to Campbell Soup, there are recordings throughout history of soup being made and eaten; soup was not invented 200 years ago. Evidence has been found in Cave, Jiangxi Province, China, from the Roman and Byzantine Empires to the Medieval and Renaissance to 18th-century France, where soup was sold as a restorative by street vendors.
 
I can 100% agree that soup is a ‘restorative’; I love soup, whether in summer or winter and whether it is creamy or clear, most soups will do.  However, for such a seemingly straightforward dish, eating soup properly involves a bit of finesse, from how you hold your spoon to how you sip, mastering the art of eating soup.  This blog will explore how to eat soup the proper way!
 
The Right Way to Use a Soup Spoon

• Choosing the Correct Spoon - Before you even begin eating, it’s important to identify the correct spoon for soup. In formal settings, you’ll often find a soup spoon placed to the right of your plate, usually larger and rounder than other spoons, different from a dessert spoon.
• Holding the Spoon Properly - Hold the soup spoon between your thumb and your first two fingers, much like you would hold a pencil. The spoon should be held in a relaxed manner, with the handle resting gently in your hand.
• Dipping the Spoon - When dipping your spoon into the soup, move it away from your body, not towards you. This technique helps prevent spills and gives you a cleaner, smoother motion.
• Sipping the Soup - Bring the spoon to your mouth and sip the soup from the edge of the spoon—not from the tip. This method allows you to enjoy the soup more gracefully without slurping or making unnecessary noise.
• Handling the Bowl - If you’re served soup in a bowl with a wide rim, you can tilt the bowl slightly away from you, using your index finger when the soup is almost finished. Unless you are in France, never clean up the bowl with bread.
• Taking Breaks and Finishing - If you need to pause while eating or if you’ve finished your soup, place the spoon in the four—or five o’clock position.

 
In Review
Mastering the art of eating soup is a subtle but powerful way to show you know proper etiquette. From selecting the correct spoon to gracefully sipping your soup, these small actions reflect your mindfulness. So, the next time you find yourself with a bowl of soup, remember these tips and take pride in enjoying this simple dish with elegance and poise.

On a wintery cold Melbourne afternoon, as you sought to make an appointment with a doctor, you encountered an instance of poor phone etiquette when attempting to locate the nearest clinic. Needing an appointment fast, I scrolled online and dialled the nearest clinic listed.  The receptionist's introduction was spoken so fast that I had to ask if this was a doctor's clinic; then, before I was able to say why I had called, I had not been warned I would be put on hold.  The phone, from start to finish, exhibited a lack of professionalism and failed to provide the necessary information.
 
Answering the Phone is an article written by Emanuel A. Schegloff, a prominent sociologist and conversation analyst. In his research, Schegloff examines the seemingly simple act of answering the telephone and delves into the complexities of social interaction.  The study analyses the different ways people answer the phone and how these responses are structured within the context of conversation. Schegloff's analysis reveals that answering the phone is not just a mechanical action but a social practice embedded with cultural norms, expectations, and interactional rules. 
 
After reading Schegloff's research on answering the phone, I couldn't help but think about my recent experience with a clinic receptionist. There were so many missed opportunities for smooth communication. How can we improve our phone conversations to ensure they are more efficient and respectful?
 
Landline Etiquette

• Answer Promptly: Aim to answer within three rings to convey professionalism or courtesy.
• Identify Yourself: Greet the caller with a friendly "Good Morning, - the name of your company, this is - your name, how can I help you?”
• Speak Clearly: Enunciate your words and maintain a moderate volume.
• Minimise Background Noise: Use a computer or TV on mute and avoid multitasking while on the phone, which may make you sound distant.
• Active Listening: Pay attention to the caller and avoid interrupting the other person.
• Put Calls on Hold Politely: Always ask permission before placing someone on hold.
• Taking Messages: If you cannot answer, politely ask if you can take a message, get the caller's name and phone number and call back within 15 minutes.
• Return Calls Promptly: If you miss a call, try to return it within a reasonable timeframe or text the person to say you will call them back.
• Ending the Call: Briefly summarise any action items and thank the caller for their time.

 
Calling to Wrap It Up
Returning to Schegloff’s research, it becomes evident that answering the phone is not merely a mechanical action but a nuanced social practice influenced by various factors such as the identity of the caller, the relationship between parties, and the situational context. By understanding these insights, individuals can ensure clear communication and demonstrate respect for others, whether on the phone or in person. Ultimately, cultivating good phone etiquette not only leaves a positive impression but also generates stronger relationships, underscoring the importance of understanding and implementing these fundamental principles in everyday communication.