How did we get here to have three to four courses at restaurants? What has history shown us about having a multi-course menu? Wikipedia reveals “ the word "menu", like much of the terminology of cuisine, is French in origin. It ultimately derives from Latin "minutus", something made small; in French, it came to be applied to a detailed list or résumé of any kind.”
 
Why Is It Called a Menu
It also shows that the first recorded menus date back to the Song dynasty in China and that King Louis XV of France provided the surviving menus of meals at the Château de Choisy in 1751. With the establishment of hotels from the late 18th to early 19th century, notable characters such as César Ritz, an early hotel chain founder known as "King of Hoteliers and Hotelier to Kings", and Georges Escoffier a French chef, restaurateur revolutionised the hotel's menu - table d'hôte where they charged guests a fixed price for food and beverages.
 
Maura Graber states from the world's only etiquette website, Etiquipedia: "Splitting courses into different categories allowed chefs and kitchen staff to serve things more efficiently. Having little breaks in between different foods allowed them to work in smaller kitchens. Not everyone had the staff or the vast cooking areas in Hampton Court.”
 
She goes on to say, “One of the reasons that historians think sorbets or ices were served in between the entree and main courses originally was because most businesses in the late 18th century and early 19th century did not have enough forks for a second course which required a knife and a fork. So, the waiters would remove the plates with the utensils, serve something which only required a spoon, and then they went back to clean the knives and forks to bring back out with the next course.”
 
Here is what to expect on a menu:

• Entrée Course - The first dish served is an entrée, appetizer, or starter course. It could be a soup or other small dish served with bread and butter.
• Main Course - You can choose a larger meal that features all types of meat, including fish and vegetables, with accompanied sauce or gravy.
• Selection of Sides - Offers optional accompaniments to your main course, like vegetables, allowing you to customise your plate for a complete meal.
• Dessert Course - Desserts or pudding are sweet treats, like cake or ice cream, for some this ends a meal.
• Cheese Course - Cheeses are served on a plate where a fork and knife are used, accompanied by bread, never crackers in France. For those everywhere else, if table-water crackers are preferred to bread by guests, have those on hand.
• Drinks or Beverages - The beverages you choose carefully, enhance your meal with alcoholic or non-alcoholic choices available, from classic sodas and juices to aperitifs, wines, and digestifs.

Restaurant Terminology
Here are some common terms used in restaurants referring to the menu:

• Menu Degustation - This multicourse menu has been carefully nurtured and created by the chef. It showcases food that is not on the restaurant’s regular menu.
• A La Carte - This means the food is prepared and cooked after your order has been taken rather than early that evening.
• A.Q or M.P. - This means market price and food pricing, such as fish, will vary depending on the season and availability.

 
As I have found, the evolution of multi-course meals in restaurants reflects a blend of historical influences, from the menu's origins in ancient China and refinement in France to practical innovations in serving efficiency and resource management during the 18th and 19th centuries. This progression was shaped by the need for detailed meal planning, efficient kitchen operations, and the creative solutions of pioneering hoteliers and chefs, ultimately leading to the structured dining experiences we enjoy today.

​Your face is a canvas that tells thousands of stories without uttering words.  Facial expressions and eye contact are two of the most powerful tools in non-verbal communication.  One of my favourite examples is Lucille Ball, the comedy queen and legendary actress.  Her unique and unmistakable mastery of these skills made her a beloved television icon.  It provided valuable lessons on how we, too, can harness this powerful tool to enhance our communication and connect with others on a deeper level.

Lucille Ball, best known for her role in I Love Lucy, was key to her comedic brilliance because of her ability to convey a wide range of emotions—from joy to confusion to exasperation.  Her ability to transform her face from joy to surprise to outrage in seconds was unmatched.  This ability to use facial expressions effectively allowed her to communicate complex emotions and reactions in a way that words alone could not.

Tips for Enhancing Your Facial Expressions and Eye Contact

• Be Genuine:  Authentic facial expressions resonate more with others.  Practice in front of a mirror to ensure your expressions match your emotions.  Avoid forcing expressions that don’t feel natural, as they can appear insincere, like the proverbial ‘used car salesman’!
• Practice in the Mirror:  Observing your own facial expressions can help you identify areas for improvement. Experiment with different expressions and see how they make you feel.
• Smile Genuinely:  A genuine smile is contagious and can instantly brighten someone’s day.

• ​Maintain Balanced Eye Contact:  In conversations, aim to maintain good and appropriate eye contact.  This shows you’re engaged and interested without making the other person uncomfortable.  Lucille Ball’s strategic use of eye contact made her performances more engaging and helped her connect with her audience on a deeper level.
• Understand Cultural Differences:  Eye contact norms vary across cultures.  Be mindful of these differences to avoid misunderstandings.
• Relax Your Face: Tension in the facial muscles can hinder expressive ability.  Practice relaxation techniques to loosen up your face.
• Watch Others:  Observe how skilled communicators use facial expressions and eye contact to enhance their message.
• Role-Playing: Practice different scenarios with a friend to improve your ability to express various emotions through your face.

Practice Exercise

• Paul: Sanjay, how did the meeting go? I'm dying to know! (Leaning forward, eager expression, maintaining eye contact)
• Sanjay: (Smiling, nodding) It went well. The client seemed impressed with our new product line. (Leaning back, relaxed posture, confident smile)
• Paul: That's fantastic news! (Excited, maintaining eye contact) Did they mention anything about the timeline? (Leaning forward again, eager expression)
• Sanjay: (Nodding, thoughtful expression) They did, but let’s discuss it over coffee. I want to give you all the details. (Smiling, standing up, maintaining eye contact)

In Review
Facial expressions and eye contact are essential elements of nonverbal communication that can greatly enhance the effectiveness of interactions.  Lucille Ball’s iconic performances demonstrate the immense power these tools hold when used skilfully.
​
Just like Lucille Ball, we all have the potential to be captivating communicators. By honing our facial expressions and eye contact skills, we can unlock a world of possibilities. Remember, your face is a powerful tool; use it wisely to connect, inspire, and leave a lasting impression. So, let your face shine and watch as it transforms your interactions.

​Imagine this: The figurehead of China is extended a grand invitation by the leader of the United Kingdom, setting the stage for a grand diplomatic event. Over a year of meticulous planning ensues, orchestrated with precision, from the careful selection of dignitaries to the crafting of an exquisite menu. Every detail is scrutinised, down to the most delicate arrangements, as the banquet tables themselves require nearly five days of tireless effort.
 
This is the actual case of when the former Queen Elizabeth invited President Xi Jinping in October 2015.  On royal.uk.com it states, “preparations for a State Banquet begin well over a year in advance, but the final build of the State Banquet table starts around five days ahead of the arrival of the visiting Head of State…. every element of the State Banquet is inspected, checked and approved by The Queen, right down to every last detail.”
 
Elevating The Dining Experience
Now, we will never have to prepare for a state banquet, thank goodness! However, from time to time, we will put on a formal event, and knowing what to and how to do it is the key to keeping the pressure down and enjoying hosting. Setting the table is more than just a practical task; it's an art form that elevates the dining experience.
 
A beautifully set table creates an inviting atmosphere, signalling thoughtfulness and care for your guests.  It transforms mealtime into a special occasion, enhancing the enjoyment of food and conversation.  Whether a casual family dinner or a formal gathering, a well-appointed table sets the tone for a memorable experience. Here is a simple step-by-step guide to help you create a perfect table setting:

​The Table

• Placemats: These add a pop of colour and protect your table. Choose a material and pattern that complements your dinnerware.
• Tablecloth: For a more dressed-up look, opt for a tablecloth. Choose a colour or pattern that suits your occasion. White is the most formal colour to use, though in some countries, it is seen as a colour of mourning.
• Centrepiece: Choose a centrepiece that complements your table setting and doesn't obstruct guests' view. If you use flowers or candles, ensure they are not scented, or the scents can fight with the aromas and flavours of everything you serve. 
• Napkin: Fold your napkins into a simple shape like a square or rectangle. Place the napkin on the dinner plate or bread plate. Never put the napkin in the wine or water glass, and never place utensils on it.
• Salt and Pepper: Add salt and pepper cellars should be added to the table for guest use.

 
Silverware

• Silverware, also known as cutlery or flatware, is used for eating.
• Fork: Place the dessert fork to the left of the plate first, then the main fork, and lastly, on the outside of the entrée fork.
• Knife: Place the main knife to the right of the plate with the blade facing inward, then the entrée knife.  Your silverware setting is not yet complete.
• Spoon: If serving soup, place the spoon to the right of the knife and the dessert spoon next to the plate and left side of the main knife.

 
Glassware

• Provide appropriate glassware for different alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages (red or white wine, champagne, etc.).
• Water glass: This is typically the largest glass and is placed at the top right, above the main knife.
• Red wine glass: This is placed to the right of the water glass. Red wine is usually served with the main course.
• White wine glass: This is placed to the right of the red wine glass. White wine is generally served with appetisers or fish courses.
• Champagne flute or dessert wine glass: If serving champagne or dessert wine, these glasses are placed in the centre above the other glasses.

 
Plateware

• Service plates, chargers, or place plates: These act as the foundation plate for the table setting and are generally removed prior to the dessert course.
• Dinner Plate: Place the dinner plate in the centre of each placemat or directly on the tablecloth if you are using a service plate.
• Dinner Plate: Place the dinner plate in the centre of each placemat, directly on the tablecloth, or, if you are using a service plate, on top of that.
• Bread Plate and Butter Knife:  Optionally, place a small bread plate above the forks, and a butter knife across it, blade facing inward.

• Pro Tip: If serving multiple courses, start with the outermost utensils and work your way in as the courses progress.
• Pro Table Setting Tip: Never place any utensils on napkins when setting a table.

 
Remember
Creating a welcoming and inviting atmosphere for your guests starts with a beautifully set table. While formal place settings can be intimidating, informal settings are much more relaxed and allow for greater creativity.  The key to a successful table setting is to consider the type of meal you're serving and the overall atmosphere you want to create.

The internet is full of well-meaning but inaccurate information, and infographics about "plate language" are a prime example.  Here's a breakdown of the truth behind these myths and some genuine restaurant etiquette tips:
 
Myth Busters

• Ready for the Next Course—Your server will look for you and your table and know when to clear your plates for the next course.
• Disliked Course—If you dislike the course, it is your responsibility to speak to the server or maître d' and see what the restaurant can do for you. Remember to leave most of the meal on the plate. If you eat it all, you buy it!
• Excellent Course—Don't hold back; tell your server verbally. This will ensure more attention is paid to your table.
• Pausing and Resting—It is the wrong method of pausing. See the next slide.
• Your Service Was Bad—If the server's service was particularly bad, it is your responsibility to inform the maître d'.
• Bring the Complaints Book—Are you joking???  What restaurant has this book?

 
Please note that no restaurant on this earth has ever taught their staff the above 'plate language', and in my lifetime of eating at restaurants, have I ever seen a business associate, friend or family do this either?

​Genuine Restaurant Etiquette Tips

• Pausing—As set out below, There are two types of pausing indicators. The one you use will depend on the continent you are dining on.
• Finishing—As set out below, There are two types of finishing indicators. The one you use will depend on the continent in which you are dining.
• Non-Verbal Cues—A slight head tilt towards your server or making eye contact can subtly indicate that you're ready for the next course.
• Communication is Key— If you have any issues with your meal, politely speak to your server or the manager. They'll be happy to help rectify the situation.
• Verbal Appreciation—While not essential, a genuine compliment to your server about the food or service goes a long way.
• Thank You—Always express your gratitude to the staff for their service.

Conclusion
By following these simple tips, you can ensure a smooth and enjoyable dining experience for yourself and those around you. Remember, etiquette is about being respectful and courteous, not about following a rigid set of rules.
​
Bonus Tip
Be mindful of your phone use at the table. Consider putting it away so you can fully engage in conversation and appreciate the company you're with.

​Designer Tommy Hilfiger stated in Vanity Fair about Grace Kelly… “I began to really study icons of style. Grace stood out. Style is enduring and forever. It’s something you cannot buy. There is a chic-ness to conservative style done in an elegant way.”
 
Grace Kelly, Princess of Monaco, epitomised the essence of quiet luxury long before it became a defined concept. Known for her timeless beauty and sophisticated style, Grace Kelly favoured clothing and accessories that spoke of elegance and quality rather than ostentation.
 
Is Quite Luxury a Thing?
In a world saturated with flashy logos and ostentatious displays of wealth, quiet luxury has emerged as a refined and sophisticated alternative.  It's about quality over quantity, timeless elegance over fleeting fashion, and substance over superficiality. Quiet luxury is not about flaunting wealth but cultivating an elegant lifestyle that speaks volumes through simplicity and attention to detail.  Let's explore the art of quiet luxury and discover how to incorporate it into your lifestyle.
 
How to Dress Quiet Luxury
Quiet luxury isn't about spending lavishly; it's about spending wisely. It's about investing in timeless, durable, and exceptional-quality pieces. It’s about creating a serene and refined environment that reflects your personal taste.
 
Grace Kelly’s wardrobe was characterised by classic silhouettes, neutral colours, and impeccable tailoring, often created by renowned designers but always chosen for their craftsmanship rather than their logos. Even after becoming a princess, Kelly maintained her discreet approach to fashion, selecting pieces that exuded an effortless refinement rather than bold statements. Her understated yet impeccable style inspires those who appreciate the subtlety and grace that define true luxury.
 
Unlike her contemporaries, she shunned overt branding and flashy logos. Instead, she embraced timeless classics, favouring quality over quantity. Her wardrobe was a carefully curated collection that exuded sophistication without screaming for attention. A simple cashmere sweater, a tailored coat, or a classic Hermès scarf were staples in her wardrobe, demonstrating that true luxury lies in enduring pieces rather than fleeting trends.

​How to Identify Quite Luxury – Clothing

• Invest in High-Quality Basics: Start with classic wardrobe staples like a well-fitted blazer, a crisp white shirt, and tailored trousers.  These items are the foundation of quiet luxury and can be mixed and matched for various occasions.
• Choose Neutral Colours: Neutral tones like beige, navy, black, and white are synonymous with quiet luxury. They’re versatile, elegant, and never go out of style.
• Focus on Fabric and Fit: The true mark of luxury lies in the details. Invest in clothing made from high-quality materials like cotton, linen, cashmere, silk, and fine wool. Additionally, prioritising well-fitted clothing should perfectly complement your body shape.
• Opt for Discreet Branding: Quiet luxury shuns overt logos. Look for brands known for their quality and craftsmanship rather than their name. The beauty of these pieces lies in their subtlety and the knowledge that they were made with care.

 
The Quite Luxury Mindset
BBC’s article How Grace Kelly Overcame Shyness To Become Hollywood Royalty, stated, “While she gave all of her time and energy to Hollywood, she kept her private life separate. She insisted on sharing a modest rented apartment instead of buying a home – proof that she could go back to New York any time. Hollywood had nothing to offer her besides the pleasure of acting. She didn’t need money and she didn’t like fame and she wasn’t hungry for anyone’s approval.”
 
Beyond fashion, Grace Kelly's quiet luxury extended to her lifestyle. She valued privacy, cultivated genuine connections, and enjoyed simple pleasures. Her ability to carry herself with poise and grace without needing constant validation is a testament to the enduring power of understated elegance. So, how can we have quite a luxury mindset?

​How to Identify Quite Luxury – The Person

• Avoid Boasting: Refrain from mentioning the cost of items, brand names, or the exclusivity of your experiences. Instead, talk about the joy or fulfilment these things bring you without emphasising their material value.
• Use Subtle Language: When discussing travel or possessions, frame them in a way that highlights their personal significance rather than their luxury aspect. For example, talk about the cultural experiences of a trip rather than the five-star accommodations.
• Ask Questions: Show genuine interest in others by asking about their lives, interests, and experiences. Listen actively and allow the conversation to revolve around them rather than sharing details about your wealth or luxury experiences.
• Celebrate Achievements Discreetly: When discussing your successes, focus on the hard work and lessons learned rather than the financial or material rewards.
• Be Gracious: Acknowledge your privileges humbly and avoid making others feel inferior. Gratitude and a down-to-earth attitude go a long way in creating rapport.
• Protect Personal Information: Be selective about what you share, especially regarding your finances, possessions, or personal life. Maintain a level of privacy that keeps others curious but never fully informed.
• Cultivate Relationships with Discreet Individuals: Spend time with those who share your values of modesty and discretion. They’ll reinforce and support your desire to lead a low-key, meaningful life.
• Engage in Meaningful Conversations: Steer discussions towards topics of substance, such as art, literature, culture, and personal growth, rather than materialism or status.

 
Conclusion
Grace Kelly's legacy inspires those seeking a more meaningful and refined approach to luxury.  Grace Kelly, the epitome of quiet luxury, redefined elegance for generations.