What Is Small Talk And Why It Is Important

​Sir Edmund Hillary's pursuit of climbing Mount Everest is a tale of determination, resilience, and a pioneering spirit. Alongside Tenzing Norgay, a Nepalese sherpa, Hillary made history on May 29, 1953, by becoming one of the first two humans to reach the summit of the world's highest peak.

The same could be said for small talk, especially if it doesn’t come naturally to you.  Hilliary and Norgay found the journey to climb Mount Everest fraught with peril, including treacherous weather, avalanches, and the thin, oxygen-starved air at high altitudes.  As a late teenager and young adult, I found it difficult and bothersome to even know where to start when starting a conversation.

While it might seem superficial and a necessary evil, the ability to engage in effortless conversation can significantly impact your personal and professional life. It’s the social lubricant that paves the way for rapport-building. So, let's demystify the art of small talk and transform it from a dreaded chore to an enjoyable skill.

How to Start Small Talk with Examples:

• Start with a Smile and Positive Attitude: A genuine smile instantly puts people at ease. As Dale Carnegie once said, "A smile is the shortest distance between two people."  Carnegie advises that cultivating a positive attitude and always speaking with encouragement and optimism helps make you more likeable and influential with others.
• Be Present: Focus on the conversation at hand and avoid distractions like your phone. There is nothing like talking to someone who is attached to their phone and constantly peeks at their screen, waiting for a message to come through.
• Start with Your Surroundings: One of the easiest ways to initiate small talk is by commenting on something in your environment. This could be anything from the weather to a unique decor piece in the room that can serve as an icebreaker.

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• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Avoid yes-or-no questions. Instead, ask questions that invite conversation and encourage the other person to elaborate. Instead of asking, "Did you enjoy your holiday?" try, "What was the highlight of your holiday?" This invites the other person to share more details and keeps the conversation open and continuous.
• Listen and Paraphrase: Paraphrasing what the other person says not only shows that you’re engaged. Let’s continue the above conversation: "It sounds like your trip to Italy was amazing. What was your favourite moment?" This technique creates rapport and avoids awkward pauses.
• Closing the Conversation: Knowing how to gracefully exit a conversation is as important as starting one.  For instance: "I enjoyed our conversation. Perhaps we could grab a coffee sometime?" This leaves the interaction open-ended and positive and reconnects at a different time.
• Practice, Practice, Practice: The more you practice small talk, the better you'll become at it.  Practice is the cornerstone of achieving goals. Through consistent effort and deliberate repetition, skills are honed, knowledge deepens, and confidence grows.

Why Is Small Talk A Valuable Communication Skills
Despite these challenges, Hillary's unwavering commitment and partnership with Norgay, built on mutual respect and trust, enabled them to conquer the summit. Their achievement marked a significant milestone in mountaineering history and symbolised the triumph of human endurance and the spirit of exploration.
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Mastering small talk is a skill that can be learned and improved upon. Following these tips and approaching conversations with a positive and open mindset can transform small talk into a valuable tool for building connections and making a great impression. Remember, the goal isn't to have the most brilliant conversation but to create a comfortable and enjoyable atmosphere for everyone involved.