I never thought I would hear the day when building a professional rapport, building goes hand in hand with afternoon tea! It, honestly, does sound like Alison in Wonderland; however, there is more in this than you imagine.
 
What is rapport? According to researchers Linda Tickle-Degnen and Robert Rosenthal, rapport has “three interrelating components: mutual attentiveness, positivity, and coordination.” The first mutual attentiveness is when the other person you are speaking to is the centre of your attention. Positivity refers to where you are both reciprocating happiness, respect and kindness. The last point is coordination. You both are equally participating and syncing where you both find common ground and understanding.
 
We all want to build rapport when networking and enjoy connecting with other professionals to assist our business. It is part of the first impression principle.
 
Understanding the meaning of rapport helps give you a more comprehensive lens into why you should accept that ‘afternoon tea’ networking event! You might be thinking, why can’t we use a meeting room and hash it out?
 
In the book ‘The Art of People: 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want’ by Dave Kerpen, he explained that over 20 meetings he attended, [Kerpen] either refused or accepted a beverage.

​There is nothing like the aroma of a BBQ. For Australians, the summertime BBQ is a time-honored, iconic institution. All of us crave the taste of a BBQ. I know I do! Australian BBQs are usually relaxed, jovial gatherings, which everyone loves to attend. How did Australians come to love the BBQ? Let us head back in time, back to when Australia was first being settled by the British.
 
The only way of cooking was to use wood, fire and the meat that was brought over on the first fleet of ships and thereafter. Those who became the stockmen, drovers and swagmen (shepherds in Australia), who would drive thousands of stock from feeding place to feeding place, in remote places over long periods of time, would cook and eat meat from the land. Perhaps it was kangaroo, wallaby or their own stock, like lamb or beef.
 
 To complement the BBQ’d meat, damper (an Australian soda bread) would be made. Traditionally, damper was made from wheat flour, salt, baking soda or Irish soda, it was cooked in the ashes of the campfire or ‘damped’ fire. It could also be used as a dessert, when golden syrup was added.

Though the term was somewhat known as a large, outdoor feast, the word, ‘barbecue,’ (or the shortened, ‘BBQ’) was rarely used in Australia. According to an Australian food timeline, backyard barbecues in Australia didn’t take hold as the social events that they have now become, until the early 1900s. The first use of ‘barbecue,’ for an Australian event is reportedly a notice for the Waverley Bowls Club’s Leg o’ Mutton Barbecue in 1903. 
 
The term caught on for more social and civic events in the following years. It wasn’t until the 1950s though, that the idea of private BBQs in outdoor kitchens really caught on. Since then, Australians have never looked back. 

Here are a few tips when you receive that very Australian BBQ invitation:

1. Reply back as soon as you acquire your invitation. A good Australian host will need to know how much meat, sausages and salad to purchase fresh on the day of the BBQ.

2. Find out what your host would like you to bring. Your host may say either one of three things when asked: A host or hostess may ask that you *“bring nothing.” That is self-explanatory. Or a host or hostess may say, “BYOB.” BYOB in traditional Australian culture, means to “bring your own beer.” Leaving any not consumed for the host at the end of the gathering, will suffice for bringing no present at all. The third could be “bring a plate.” Don’t assume your host will be actually needing plates! It means to bring a dish of consumables to share, such as a salad, a vegetarian cold bake or a dessert.
Popular beers enjoyed at an Australian BBQ? Traditionally seen at Australian BBQs are Coopers Brewery Original Pale Ale, Crown Lager, Little Creatures Pale Ale, Carlton Draught, James Boag’s Premium Lager, Victoria Bitter, Tooheys New, Cascade Draught, Tooheys Extra Dry, Hahn Super Dry, Corona Extra, and Heineken.

Salads commonly seen at BBQs are potato salad, rice, coleslaw, pasta, lettuce based salads with avacado, Greek or even Caesar style salads.

Cold vegetarian bakes can include quiches, vegetables with cheese toppings, vegetable and pasta bakes, roasted vegetables.

Desserts to finish the night are often Pavlova, trifle, fruit salad, cheese platter, swiss roll or chocolate cake.

3. Being invited to a BBQ is an informal affair. No need to dress up. Casual, chic and comfortable is advised. You will be possibly standing on the lawn, it’s best to leave your heels at home and wear espadrilles, ballet flats and even thongs.

4. Arrive at the suggested time. When you arrive you may find a friendly game of backyard cricket or badminton. You may be encouraged to join in or watch the kids play. 
 
5. Assist the host or hostess if you see that help is needed. Ask though, before jumping in. Many BBQs are informal occasions and you’ll possibly receive a casual invitation on the day itself, or the day before. Don't be scared to pitch in, or to offer a hand. It can make for great conversation and it helps you to get to know others swiftly.

6. What you will find cooking on the BBQ will most often be steak, sausages, marinated chicken, mince patties, lamb chops, onions, seafood grilled and few vegetables such as corn, capsicum or pumpkin.
 
Don’t touch the BBQ while hot. For many reasons, at an Australian BBQ there will always be a designated cook. They will assume responsibility for cooking the meat to perfection. Feel free to gather around the BBQ and chat with your host, with a drink in hand. The cook or host will be more than happy to accommodate the way you like your meat to be cooked. Taking over, you might find that a further invite may not be forthcoming. Complimenting the chef, however, works like a charm and you’ll probably be invited back.

7. Every good Australian household will have mosquito repellent, in the form of coils that can be burnt away from the dining setting or you can spray repellent during the night. Your host will usually store this in the laundry cupboard, however, a polite guest won’t go through someone else’s cupboards without permission to do so. If you are eating inside, all windows and doors have fly screens to keep the buzzing enemies on the right side of the door.

8. Leave your phone in your back pocket or bag. Australians love to chat and tell stories and vice versa. If you are constantly on your phone, it will indicate that you are not interested in being there and you will be remembered by your hosts and other guests for all the wrong reasons.
 
9. Lastly, after thanking your host and or hostess, again compliment your cook, and leave at the suggested time. 
 
* After being told to “bring nothing,” if you feel inclined to bring a gift for your host or hostess, steer away from chocolates, which are too easily meltable in the Australian summer heat. Flowers are also risky, as the heat can cause the petals to wither and burn. What makes a great BBQ host or hostess gift? An unusual bottle opener, personalized stubby holders (bottle or can koozies), or a bottle of wine to be opened and enjoyed at a later date.

Article Published: Etiquipedia.blogspot.com

​​Etiquette, the art of being polite, eloquent and kind, has many proponents globally.  If you've ever wondered if there is a repository of articles related to etiquette or about the extent of the etiquette network and the wide range of fascinating aspects of this art, then let me introduce you to Maura Graber.
 
When It First Started
I first came across Etiquipedia Blogspot when I saw a post on Instagram by Maura Graber about a silver, orange holder. I was instantly fascinated. At her recommendation, I took a further look and was instantly captivated by her website. Everything I could know about etiquette was there: its history and evolution, the forms of etiquette that exist in other countries, and so much, much more.
 
When I asked Maura Graber more about Etiquipedia, she said, "It's fun, though. I'm always learning new things. I love the etiquette history. It gives a much clearer picture of where etiquette is today and legitimises its importance in the world.  In late 2012, I started the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia with a trainee of mine, the late Demita Usher, she encouraged me to start the site as a way for me to dispel etiquette myths and etiquette misinformation that runs rampant on social media."  Etiquipedia evolved into a project of the heart that saw Graber posting hundreds of articles annually.
 
The Worlds Only Dedicated Etiquette Website
"Now, with nearly 1,700 articles posted, there is still much more etiquette information needed," Graber says.  "And I do call out the promotion of bad etiquette, I just do not name anyone specifically. It is not easy to keep up. I devote a lot of time to the site. But it is rewarding work and I want it to remain free of ads as long as possible."
 
"I encourage select etiquette professionals whom I meet online to contribute articles who readily contribute terrific articles. Some come up with an article that I need to expand on. What I look for and explore are relevant etiquette and etiquette history articles. They are generally well worth the read."
 
I wondered whether her information had a wider readership beyond other etiquette teachers. Graber clarified "I have a lot of students email me directly from all over the world. They want help with school projects or papers they're working on. So I have a lot of people who are doing school work using Etiquipedia as a reference.  One large segment of followers are historical romance writers and those interested in the French royals and Versailles, Roman Empire etiquette, and other diversionary subjects."  Weekly Etiquipedia has hundreds of interested readers from across the globe, from Russia, Kuwait, Australia, the UK, Canada, Ukraine and Brazil to India, France, Germany, the US, South Korea and Trinidad & Tobago!
 
One of the items currently in Graber's possession is the well-preserved original seating chart for the Duke of Gloucester's visit to Australia in 1934. The Duke of Gloucester was the uncle of Prince Charles, after whom Prince William was named. Additionally, Graber has a photo of a full-place setting in sterling silver, including the original menu used by Queen Elizabeth II during a royal visit to Australia in 1954. I was so intrigued by this since I teach dining etiquette!
 
Conclusion
I encourage those who love etiquette and history to save Graber's blogsite and cherish it! She continues to devote hundreds of hours to building it. Her dedication and love for etiquette are evident—after all, etiquette really is the art of thinking about others, being considerate, and kind.  Thank you, Maura Graber.

Purchase Maura Graber's Books at Amazon:

• Reaching for the Right Fork... The Evolution of Tabletop Utensils.
• ​​What Have We Here?: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond...

Find this article helpful? Please show your support with a positive comment.

​Yes, everyone, there is a difference between Afternoon Tea and High Tea. To understand this, let's travel back to the 18th century. 
 
Afternoon Tea is associated with Anna Stanhope, the 7th Duchess of Bedford of the British Royal Family. In those days, lunch was served midday, and dinner was not until around 8 PM. The Duchess felt a "sinking feeling" around 4 PM and invited friends over for tea served with bread, butter, and sweet treats to alleviate it. This small custom soon became a favoured pastime among ladies of the era. Special dresses were even designed for this new meal, featuring adjustable waistbands for comfort. Participants in Afternoon Tea would typically be seated in plush, low chairs in British estates' drawing rooms. 
 
Afternoon Tea
Originated with the British aristocracy.
Typically includes tea, bread, butter, and sweet treats.
Served around 4 PM.
Enjoyed in plush, low chairs in drawing rooms.
Special attire was often worn for the occasion.
 
High Tea, in contrast, was associated with the working class. After a long day of labour, workers would return home to a hearty spread of food, including pies, fish, bread and butter, leftover meats, sausages, and potatoes, accompanied by pots of tea and sometimes glasses of ale. These meals were made from leftover foods, which were kept as cool as possible until they were served at around 6 PM. "high" in High Tea refers to the high-backed chairs or stools used by the middle and lower classes while dining. It may also relate to the fact that some would stand while eating.  To summarise: 
 
High Tea
Associated with the working class.
Consists of hearty foods such as pies, fish, meats, and potatoes.
Served around 6 PM. Eaten using high-backed chairs or stools, sometimes standing.
Reflects a more substantial meal after a day's work.
 
Conclusion
Understanding these distinctions highlights how tea customs have evolved and catered to different social classes and their needs.

​Can you hear the thundering in the ground beneath you? You can actually feel the horses before they fly past you within seconds, kicking up the greenest, thickest grass with soil into the crowd. The jockeys with laser concentration, visualising what is ahead of them, each one wearing the colours of their company.
 
As the horses pass you see their flared nostrils, pushing out carbon dioxide into the air, chests pumping to get to the finishing line first! The crowd’s chatter has become hushed tones, as they intently watch like eagles, turning their heads from left to right in a 3200 metre race at 3:00 p.m. exactly, on the first Tuesday in November.  It is known as “the race that stops the nation.” It is also known as the Melbourne Cup.

The Melbourne Cup, held at Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. The very first race was held in 1861. The race now has been shortened from over 3 kilometers to 3200 meters. It is a time where race meets all over the world and Australia, starting in Spring then coverage to this day and after. You will see Sheiks from the Middle East, Oligarchs from Russia, the rich, famous and invested from Asia, come to the most famous day in November.

Other than viewing the most beautiful horses on earth, you will undoubtedly get to enjoy the site of some truly beautiful spring dresses and hats. It is a time for men and women to show their creativeness, boldness and bravery, which puts into a spin, the local seamstresses, milliners, glove and shoe boutiques. It is the perfect excuse to dress bright, elegant and stand out with a milliner's hat or one that you have designed yourself. 
 
Of course, you can dress up anytime for a race meet all over Australia, however the major days that you would want to be seen are:

31st October - Victoria Derby Day
3rd November - Melbourne Cup Day
5th November - Kennedy Oaks Day
7th November - Stakes Day

Dress Etiquette and Style Guide
The VRC (or the Victorian Racing Club) does have etiquette rules for how ladies and gents need to be attired, if one is to enter certain areas of the racecourse. If one is lucky enough to be invited to private and/or member sections, there are a few rules to remember:

Ladies - are required to dress suitable standards of dressing, maintain dignity inside the enclosure. Overseas guests are able to wear their formal national dress of origin. Not acceptable is jumpsuit/playsuits, midriff exposed or shorts.

Gentleman - are required to attire themselves with tailored slacks (tailored chino's), sports coat/blazer, tie and dress shoes. Overseas guests are able to wear their formal national dress of origin. During the hot summer months jackets can be a side item.

Children - are required to be neatly dressed and with an adult.

Member’s Guests - are required to adhere to the above dress requirements.

Fashions on the Field... It’s Competition Time!
This is an amazing sight that brings the colour, fashion and drama to the races. The competition is held in collaboration with VRC and Myer Department Store each year. 
 
Held for over 57 years, it was first created in an attempt to appeal to more women. What was a male dominated sport suddenly seemed ‘fashionable.’ The fashion competition is now a glam event, held over the four days, and brings in international designers, milliners, and global media attention, along with celebrity judges.

There are some that have made their name known just entering these competitions putting together a stunning outfit from shoes, outfit, hairstyle and hat.

The competition has four sections that attendees can compete in: Women's Racewear, Men's Racewear, an Emerging Designer Award, and a Millinery Award.

This is an amazing time in Melbourne. I hope to see you one day there.
 
See article in: Etiquipedia.blogspot.com
​