Who would have thought that the beloved tradition of afternoon tea, often credited to an English duchess, actually originated in the sophisticated Parisian salons of the 19th century? This delightful custom, now enjoyed globally, traces its roots back to a Russian socialite whose influence extended far beyond her elegant gatherings.

Tracing the History of Afternoon Tea
Tea as an afternoon meal, is thought to have originated in 1837 in the house of Mme. de Circourt, a Russian lady, whose salon in Paris was at that time much frequented by the most intellectual society of day. The fashionable dinner hours were then getting late, and she introduced a 4 o'clock light meal, at which tea was served, creating the custom in Paris of afternoon tea. It was later that Fanny Kemble in “Records of a Girlhood” attributes the introduction of the afternoon meal in England, to Anna, the then Duchess of Bedford.
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​From “Notes and Queries” 1882— On Afternoon Tea - “In a sketch of Comte de Circourt, by Hubert Saladin, the salon of Madame de Circourt comes prominently before us as one of those frequented by the most intellectual society of Paris in 1837. A reviewer in the Revue Britannique for this month suggests that to her (she was a Russian) we are perhaps indebted for the first 5 o’clock teas.” K.H.B.

Biography of Madame de Circourt
Madame de Circourt, was born Anastasie Klustine, in Moscow in 1808, to Simon Klustine, an officer of high rank in the Russian army, and the Countess Vera Tolstoi. Intelligent and a natural at linguistics, Anastasie spoke fluent Russian, German, French and English by the age of 16. Her educational studies included religion, ethics, metaphysics, botany, and music, but her health was described as delicate. 

Subsequently, at the age of 18, with her mother, she travelled to Montpellier, Pyrenees and then to Paris to convalesce. ‘It was in Paris during the winter of 1826-27 that she made the acquaintance of Count Adolphe de Circourt’ and they soon married.  Her later life, and the popularity of her Parisian salon, in which she entertained the most intellectual of society, was covered in author Count Nigra’s book, “Count Cavour and Madame de Circourt: Some Unpublished Correspondence.” It was in her salon that she started the custom of serving afternoon tea, prior to the Duchess of Bedford doing so in England.

Closing Remarks
The tradition of afternoon tea, a beloved ritual enjoyed worldwide, finds its origins in the elegant Parisian salons of the 19th century. While often attributed to the Duchess of Bedford in England, historical evidence suggests that Madame de Circourt, a Russian socialite residing in Paris, was the true pioneer of this custom. Her intellectually stimulating salon, frequented by the era's elite, served as the backdrop for the introduction of a light, 4 o'clock meal accompanied by tea.

This sophisticated practice subsequently gained popularity in England and beyond, evolving into the cherished tradition we know today.  Madame de Circourt's influence extended far beyond her social circles. Her intellectual pursuits, linguistic prowess, and cosmopolitan lifestyle contributed to her role as a cultural influencer, solidifying her place in history as the originator of a timeless social custom.

​Article Published: Etiquipedia.blogspot.com

People often ask why etiquette is necessary and its benefits, especially in our modern era.  Some may argue that manners are outdated and belong to their grandparents' time.  However, etiquette is never out of style.  It evolves and adapts to suit our contemporary lives.  At its core, etiquette comprises guidelines for politeness and respect, reflecting how we wish to be treated by others.

Etiquette establishes positive behaviours both socially and professionally.  It embodies our cultural values, ethical principles, and the norms of our families and social circles.  It helps us demonstrate respect and consideration, boosts our confidence, and provides the assurance that we have acted appropriately in any given situation.  This, in turn, makes us feel more comfortable.  Additionally, etiquette can protect others' feelings by preventing the highlighting of their mistakes.  It emphasises communication, breaking down barriers rather than building them.  In the workplace, proper etiquette enhances our skills, showcasing us as capable professionals and leaving others with a positive first impression.
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In today's busy world, many people miss out on being taught proper etiquette. I t doesn't come naturally; it requires practice.  This practice starts at home, extends to our workplaces, family, and friends, and eventually to strangers.  Over time, it becomes second nature and a highly admired quality.

The Nine Benefits of Etiquette

1. Prevents Social Collisions: As Pier Forni, Professor at Johns Hopkins University, says, "The rules of good manners are the traffic lights of human interaction. They make it so we don’t crash into one another in everyday behaviour."
2. Promotes Unity, Respect, and Dignity: Proper etiquette fosters a sense of community and mutual respect.
3. Builds Strong Relationships: Good manners help create and maintain strong personal and professional relationships.
4. Avoids Negative Situations: Understanding etiquette aids in preventing misunderstandings and conflicts.
5. Encourages Cross-Cultural Awareness: Etiquette fosters an appreciation and respect for cultural practices and perspectives.
6. Positively Impacts Those Around You: Displaying good manners influences others positively, creating a more pleasant environment.
7. Builds Confidence and Self-Esteem: Knowing how to act in various situations boosts personal confidence and self-awareness.
8. Reflects Inner Consideration and Respect: American author Emily Post said, "Good manners reflect something from inside - an innate sense of consideration for others and self respect."
9. Guides Social and Professional Interactions: Etiquette guides the effective management of both personal and professional relationships.

​In Summary
Adhering to the principles of etiquette can help us navigate social and professional landscapes more smoothly, fostering better interactions and relationships in all aspects of life.

These days, popular social media sites are more full of dirty laundry than your local dry cleaner and laundromat combined. Wouldn’t it be great if A thru Z-list celebs had their own White House-type press secretaries to deflect questions and tell us all to disregard which dirty laundry we read on social media and the more salacious of news’ sites? And then, of course, tell us which we “should” believe?
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And whose “truth” holds the actual facts when someone trashing the in-laws while airing the dirtiest of laundry, exclaims proudly that it is “her truth” or “his truth?” Airing dirty laundry has practically become an international sport. It was so prevalent at the Paris Olympics last month, some of those airing it should have been given medals! But then again, they should have also been ashamed of themselves.

Unfortunately, scurrilous examples could have used a crackerjack press secretary for actions, reactions and events which ended up in the media as meaty clickbait and videos or reels of gossip-mongering. Examples include the duo nicknamed the “Temu Royals” on social media. They never stop airing dirty laundry, and thankfully it is not reciprocated by the other side of the bubbles. How about the hours spent discussing the inevitable split of those two once referred to as ‘Bennifer”? Or the laundry bubbles bursting onto the scene in the aftermath of the P. Diddy arrest?  Or the tamer soiled laundry of the late-Matthew Perry, who wrote in his tell-all autobiography about a long ago make out session with a then married Valerie Bertinelli, aka Mrs. Eddie Van Halen?

The Language Council of Singapore described the idiom ‘airing of dirty laundry’ as “ a metaphor, stemming from the embarrassment one would feel if others saw the clothes, sheets and towels that needed washing. In addition, if the owner did not feel embarrassed, the witnesses would be. This works the same way for humiliating or extremely private family secrets that should not be talked about in front of others.”

We can use the centuries-old metaphor for the aforementioned modern examples that have played out on television and social media. Do we need to know about what the ‘nanny’ said? Do we want to know your thoughts about a particular boyfriend that your ex is dating or revealing intimate details in a book? My next question is hopefully a thought-provoking one…what does this say about you? Perhaps it was a need to make money for the writer and publisher alike; leaking these details helps you in the legal case that will be made in the non-distant future, or it just ‘feels good’ to express emotion? Maybe! For those that don’t have a PR team at our disposal, we can use these tips before putting things on social media:
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1. Think before reacting to a situation, tell a close and trusted friend or family member.
2. What are the consequences (before, during and after) on airing my or someone else’s laundry?
3. Do I need to make a press release for the purpose of providing general information for an official public statement?

One of the best examples to date is how the House of Grimaldi, otherwise known as the royal family of Monaco, dealing with the absence of Charlene, Princess of Monaco, from royal duties and life for a short period from the beginning of 2022. A quick and brief statement gave general insight but did not mar the monarchy's reputation. Bravo, and well done. We all can channel Sarah Huckabee Sanders, former political spokesperson, first in a long line of press secretaries for the Trump administration and the governor-elect of Arkansas. She battled the White House Press Corps and supposed “dirty laundry” being brought into the White House Press Corps room like a knight wielding his sword, or even a high-tech laundromat at which the dirty laundry is scooped up and cleaned without a trace, playing down the constant barrage of political mishaps with obsequious comments deflecting from what was really happening.

Article Published: Etiquipedia.blogspot.com

Public speaking is serious business for politicians.  Where did it go wrong for President Macron and former immigration minister Peter Dutton?
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The Advertiser stated in September 2015, while attending the Pacific Island Forum hosted by Papua New Guinea, “Noting that a meeting to discuss refugee resettlement was running a little late.” Mr Dutton joked that it was on “Cape York time,” to which Prime Minister Abbott responded, “We had a little of that up in Port Moresby.” A media blunder.
In May 2018, French President Emmanuel Macron called Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s wife “delicious.” Unfortunately, the two leaders’ conversation was lost in translation. Delicieux can also mean delightful in French. It’s worth noting that the Australian and French media outlets addressed this media blunder in very different ways.

According to France 24, “Australia’s prime minister said on Thursday that his wife was ‘flattered and charmed’ to be described as ‘delicious’ by President Emmanuel Macron, a compliment that has sparked lighthearted speculation during the French leader’s first official visit.” The full-page cover of the Sydney-based Daily Telegraph featured Macron’s head superimposed with the French-inspired lothario comic ‘Pepe le Pew.’ The two opposing views on the French president resulting from one speech gaffe are intriguing.

Speaking to the media, at events, and in other capacities is part of the job of a CEO, minister, or governor. Leaders in government or business receive intensive training to represent their organisations, specialising in different types of communication and interacting with the media. Delivering key messages, anticipating questions, crisis management, learning to be in control, body language, video production, answering questions diplomatically, and avoiding common pitfalls such as journalist tricks and hard-hitting questions are all part of training.

It only takes one lousy interview to ruin your reputation. Did the leaders’ reputations suffer as a result of their mistakes? No, they all reacted quickly, thanks to their media training. Perhaps some etiquette awareness training would have prevented the headlines. Did Macron’s team conduct cultural research on Australian culture and check for translational issues?

Could the former Australian ministers have used cultural awareness as a guide and remembered Ronald Reagan’s fate with a microphone in the 1980 election debate? Yes, the answer is unequivocal.

Article Published: Protocol Today

 I never thought I would hear the day when building a professional rapport, building goes hand in hand with afternoon tea! It, honestly, does sound like Alison in Wonderland; however, there is more in this than you imagine.
 
What is rapport? According to researchers Linda Tickle-Degnen and Robert Rosenthal, rapport has “three interrelating components: mutual attentiveness, positivity, and coordination.” The first mutual attentiveness is when the other person you are speaking to is the centre of your attention. Positivity refers to where you are both reciprocating happiness, respect and kindness. The last point is coordination. You both are equally participating and syncing where you both find common ground and understanding.
 
We all want to build rapport when networking and enjoy connecting with other professionals to assist our business. It is part of the first impression principle.
 
Understanding the meaning of rapport helps give you a more comprehensive lens into why you should accept that ‘afternoon tea’ networking event! You might be thinking, why can’t we use a meeting room and hash it out?
 
In the book ‘The Art of People: 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want’ by Dave Kerpen, he explained that over 20 meetings he attended, [Kerpen] either refused or accepted a beverage.