On a wintery cold Melbourne afternoon, as you sought to make an appointment with a doctor, you encountered an instance of poor phone etiquette when attempting to locate the nearest clinic. Needing an appointment fast, I scrolled online and dialled the nearest clinic listed.  The receptionist's introduction was spoken so fast that I had to ask if this was a doctor's clinic; then, before I was able to say why I had called, I had not been warned I would be put on hold.  The phone, from start to finish, exhibited a lack of professionalism and failed to provide the necessary information.
 
Answering the Phone is an article written by Emanuel A. Schegloff, a prominent sociologist and conversation analyst. In his research, Schegloff examines the seemingly simple act of answering the telephone and delves into the complexities of social interaction.  The study analyses the different ways people answer the phone and how these responses are structured within the context of conversation. Schegloff's analysis reveals that answering the phone is not just a mechanical action but a social practice embedded with cultural norms, expectations, and interactional rules. 
 
After reading Schegloff's research on answering the phone, I couldn't help but think about my recent experience with a clinic receptionist. There were so many missed opportunities for smooth communication. How can we improve our phone conversations to ensure they are more efficient and respectful?
 
Landline Etiquette

• Answer Promptly: Aim to answer within three rings to convey professionalism or courtesy.
• Identify Yourself: Greet the caller with a friendly "Good Morning, - the name of your company, this is - your name, how can I help you?”
• Speak Clearly: Enunciate your words and maintain a moderate volume.
• Minimise Background Noise: Use a computer or TV on mute and avoid multitasking while on the phone, which may make you sound distant.
• Active Listening: Pay attention to the caller and avoid interrupting the other person.
• Put Calls on Hold Politely: Always ask permission before placing someone on hold.
• Taking Messages: If you cannot answer, politely ask if you can take a message, get the caller's name and phone number and call back within 15 minutes.
• Return Calls Promptly: If you miss a call, try to return it within a reasonable timeframe or text the person to say you will call them back.
• Ending the Call: Briefly summarise any action items and thank the caller for their time.

 
Calling to Wrap It Up
Returning to Schegloff’s research, it becomes evident that answering the phone is not merely a mechanical action but a nuanced social practice influenced by various factors such as the identity of the caller, the relationship between parties, and the situational context. By understanding these insights, individuals can ensure clear communication and demonstrate respect for others, whether on the phone or in person. Ultimately, cultivating good phone etiquette not only leaves a positive impression but also generates stronger relationships, underscoring the importance of understanding and implementing these fundamental principles in everyday communication.

​Princess Diana, the People’s Princess, was renowned not just for her grace and compassion but also for her impeccable posture and captivating body language.  Her ability to connect with people on a profound level was, in part, due to her conscious awareness of how she presented herself.
 
What is Body Language
Your body speaks volumes before you even utter a word.  Posture and body language are the silent communicators that shape how others perceive you and, importantly, how you perceive yourself. It's more than just standing straight; it's about projecting confidence, engaging effectively, and, ultimately, feeling better.  Let’s explore how we can emulate her poise and charm by understanding the significance of posture and body language.
 
Non-Verbal Communication
Britannica.com explains nonverbal communication as the “transfer of information from one person to another without the use of words or spoken language.  Nonverbal communication can occur in a variety of ways, including through facial expressions, gestures, and body posture or position.”
 
Good posture is the foundation of effective body language.  It involves maintaining a straight, balanced position, whether standing, sitting, or moving.  Proper posture makes you appear more confident and alert and supports your physical health.  According to Harvard Health, “good posture protects you against back pain and improves your overall health and appearance”.  Standing tall with your shoulders back and your weight evenly distributed on both feet projects authority and self-assurance.  In contrast, slouching or hunching over can make you appear unsure or disengaged.
 
For Example:  Diana’s posture was a hallmark of her elegance.  She stood tall, her shoulders relaxed, and her subtle head tilt conveyed confidence and approachability.  This posture projected an aura of warmth and sincerity, making her instantly relatable to people from all walks of life.

Body language, encompassing gestures, facial expressions, and movements, work with posture to communicate your feelings and intentions.  Open body language, such as uncrossed arms, maintaining eye contact, and facing the person you’re speaking with, signals that you are engaged and approachable.  On the other hand, closed body language, such as crossed arms, avoiding eye contact, or turning away, can indicate discomfort, defensiveness, or disinterest.  Understanding these cues allows you to consciously project positivity and confidence, making your interactions more effective and authentic.
 
For Example: Her body language was equally captivating.  Diana mastered using gestures to emphasise her words and connect emotionally.  Her body language spoke volumes, whether it was a gentle touch, a knowing smile, or a compassionate embrace.  She understood the power of nonverbal communication and used it to create a deep and lasting impact.
 
Tips for Improving Posture and Body Language

• Conscious Awareness: Pay attention to your posture throughout the day.  Set reminders to check your alignment while sitting, standing, or walking.
• Mind Your Seat: When sitting, ensure your back is straight, your shoulders are back, and your feet are flat on the floor, avoiding crossing your legs.
• Ergonomic Setup: Ensure your workspace is ergonomically correct to prevent strain and promote good posture.
• Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you become more aware of your body and its alignment.
• Stand and Sit Tall: When standing, imagine a string pulling you up from the top of your head. Keep your shoulders relaxed but back, your chest open, and your feet slightly apart.

 
In Summary
The benefits are far-reaching.  Remember, how you carry yourself speaks just as loudly as the words you say, so make sure your body language is sending the right message.  Embody the compassion and grace of Princess Diana, the 'People's Princess,' by adopting her posture of openness and genuine warmth, coupled with a sincere focus on the needs and feelings of others.  By practising and refining these skills, you improve how others perceive you and boost your self-confidence and physical well-being.

​Good table manners are more than just knowing which fork to use. They reflect your respect for others, your cultural awareness, and your overall poise. In professional settings, they can enhance your image and build trust. In social situations, they contribute to a pleasant and enjoyable atmosphere. Remember, it's not about perfection as you will soon discover! It's about showing consideration and confidence.
 
She writes,  “Never underestimate the usefulness of official entertaining. When ice needs to be broken, when friendships need to be forged and contacts consolidated, what better tool to use than food and drink?”
 
I want to share with you one of the funniest books I have read so far is Cherry Denman’s, “Diplomatic Incidents - Memoirs of an (Un) Diplomatic Wife.”  You really do will laugh out loud at experiences that she and her husband, a diplomat for the United Kingdom, encountered when posted to a new assignment. I’m sharing my favorite excerpts from her wonderfully detailed book and I am sure you too will ‘lol’. 
 
Let’s really dig in to some delicious bits of Denman’s book… “Charlie has never flinched in the service of his country. He has chomped his way through jellyfish, ducks' feet, slugs, deep-fried scorpions, donkey burger, assorted testicles, unmentionable innards, turtles, frog-snot, swallows' vomit, snake, dog, camel's hump, yak's eye and my cooking. He was even offered bear's paw on one trip round China and when he drew the line at this, his hosts tried to insist he ate it because next year it would be an endangered species.”
 
Wow, has that happened to you at someone’s house or at a restaurant? It has happened to many the world over and when you think about it, yes, it does make your stomach turn. How do you bring it light without making drama at the table? Simply, call over the servers point to the offending object and hopefully your meal will be replaced. At someone’s house catch the eye of your host, quickly point to it with gaining attention from those at the table and your host should be up and over to you within seconds replacing your plate.

​“My first-ever diplomatic dinner party was a disaster. I had discovered through a series of embarrassing misunderstandings that foreigners are in fact a lot more formal than Brits, so I had gone all out to do things properly. I had invited a number of young diplomats from other embassies in Peking.”
 
I’ve made embarrassing cooking mistakes and boy have I learnt from them. I like to be super prepared. Let’s say it’s an evening event, I will set and decorate the table in the morning making sure glasses and plates are clean and napkins are laundered. A day or two before I will create the menu and match wines and non-alcoholic beverages to the meal served. Just in case a meal fails, I will make extra which will be waiting for me in the freezer or cooked fresh on the day…for those unexpected ‘dining disasters’.

“Chinese National Day is always worth attending because the food is so good, except for one year when their chefs didn't separate the sweet dishes from the savoury. Everyone piled their plates with spring rolls and noodles, dim sum and butterfly prawns, and poured what they thought to be sweet and sour sauce over everything. It turned out to be a sweet, sickly strawberry custard.”
 
Have you gone to someone’s house and received ‘less-than-likeable-food’, yes, I have! There is a diplomat inside of us that says you-can-do-this. It is polite to eat some of the food served and you can leave the rest. If there is food that meets your approval, why not take a few servings of that dish to show you are enjoying the hosts food.
 
“As for dietary restrictions, I once had to cook a dinner party for a group who consisted of a Jewish couple, one of whom was diabetic, two vegans, one person suffering from coeliac disease and one who was allergic to dairy products. Oh, and one nut allergy.”
 
Arrrrhhh that’s me screaming!!! Allergies and dietaryrestrictions are now something that the modern host needs to deal with. Could you imagine dealing with the guests Cherry Denman hosted! As a host it is good to ask if people have these food requirements and for guests to inform the host. This should occur when the invitation has been given so it gives the host fair warning before shopping is completed.
 
“At a Chinese banquet I spun the Lazy Susan in the centre of the table with such enthusiasm that the protruding serving spoons knocked over all the wine glasses, one by one, sending China's No. 1 Great Wall claret cascading over everyone's deep-fried noodles with pig's intestines, radically changing the recipe to soup. And I was completely sober.”
 
Always consider something might go awry...be prepared as a girl scout! I’m sure this was quite amusing to see a diplomats wife spin the wheel of fortune…or unfortunate! When someone spills, breaks or more, keep your cool, smile and proceed to fix the mistake with flawless ease and pretend it never happened.
 
Other Tricks and Manners’ Minded Tips

• Basic Etiquette: Start with the basics. Arrive on time, greet your host or hostess warmly, and offer to help with drinks or appetizers.
• Mobile Phones: This is a big one! Silence your phone and avoid checking it during meals. It's a sign of disrespect to those around you.
• Ordering and Eating: Be mindful of others when ordering and take your time eating. Avoid making noise while eating or drinking and elbows off the table.
• Passing Food: When passing dishes, always pass to the right. If a dish is being passed around, don’t grab it directly across the table; wait until it comes to you in the natural order.
• Engaging in Conversation: Mealtime conversation is an art. Listen attentively and engage with others but avoid controversial topics unless you’re in a setting where such discussions are welcome.
• Handling Difficult Foods: Certain foods can be tricky, such as pasta, soup, or shellfish. For shellfish, use the appropriate utensils or your hands as needed, and always follow the lead of your host if you’re unsure.
• Responding to Service: Treat waitstaff with respect. If you need to get a server’s attention, raise your hand slightly or make brief eye contact rather than calling out or waving.

In our increasingly casual world, it’s easy to dismiss table manners as outdated or unnecessary. However, good manners transcend the table; they are about respect, discipline, and cultural awareness. Ultimately, table manners are a form of communication, silently conveying your appreciation for the food, the company, and the shared experience. So, the next time you sit down to eat, remember these tips and tricks, and take pride in the art of dining well.

​Get Cherry Denman's Book - Amazon

Article Published: Etiquipedia Blogspot

​In today's fast-paced, digital world, teaching etiquette to children and teenagers is more important than ever.  Good manners and proper etiquette can significantly impact their social interactions, self-esteem, and future opportunities.  This blog delves into why etiquette matters, practical ways to teach it, and resources to help you along the way.
 
Why Etiquette Matters
Etiquette is more than just saying "please" and "thank you." It's about respect, consideration, and empathy towards others. Studies have shown that children who practice good manners are more likely to succeed socially and academically. According to a report by the National Education Association, children who learn social skills early tend to perform better in school and have healthier relationships throughout their lives.
 
Practical Ways to Teach Etiquette

• Model Good Behaviour: Children and teenagers learn by observing adults. Demonstrate politeness, patience, and respect in your daily interactions. Use phrases like "excuse me," "thank you," and "you're welcome" consistently.
• Set Clear Expectations: Explain the importance of etiquette and set clear expectations.  Discuss scenarios they might encounter, such as interacting with peers and teachers.
• Practice Makes Perfect: Role-playing can be a fun and effective way to practice etiquette.  Act out different situations, such as meeting someone new or dining at a restaurant.
• Encourage Empathy: Empathy is a cornerstone of good etiquette. Discuss feelings and encourage them to think about how others might feel in various situations.

 
What Age Should A Child Learn Manners
Quick Tips for Kids: For the Little Ones (Ages 5-10)

1. Magic Words: "Please," "Thank you," and "Excuse me" are markers of politeness. Make them a habit at home and praise your child for using them outside the house.
2. Table Manners: Start simple! Teach them to use their utensils correctly, how to set the table, and how to behave in ways such as eating at the table and helping after a meal.
3. Greetings: Encourage a friendly "hello" or "goodbye" when meeting new people or entering/leaving a room.
4. Sharing is Caring: This is a golden rule for playgrounds and friendships alike. Teach your child to take turns and share toys and games.
5. Showing Respect: Encourage polite greetings and introductions. Teach them to make eye contact, offer a firm handshake (when appropriate), and use titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms.) unless told otherwise.

​Quick Tips for Kids: For the Teenagers (Ages 11-18)

1. Phone Etiquette: The digital world has its own manners! Encourage your teen to silence their phone and place it in another room during meals so they can fully connect and be present.
2. Social Media Savvy: The online world can be harsh. Teach teens to be respectful and positive in their posts and comments, which will benefit them in the long and short term.
3. Conversations: Encourage them to make eye contact, listen attentively, and contribute to conversations by asking questions and listening to the answers.
4. Body Language: Remind teens to maintain good posture, be mindful of nonverbal cues, and avoid slouching crossed arms, and excessive fidgeting.
5. One Random Act of Kindness: It's something nice you do for someone without expecting anything in return. It could be as simple as holding the door open for someone or helping a friend with their homework.

 
In Review
Teaching etiquette to children and teenagers equips them with essential life skills. It's a continuous process that requires patience, consistency, and practice. By instilling good manners early, we help them build respectful, confident, and empathetic personalities that will serve them well throughout their lives.
 
By investing time in teaching etiquette, we're not just preparing our children to navigate social situations gracefully but fostering a generation that values respect and empathy, essential traits for a great future.
 
Resources for Teaching Etiquette
Digital Books, Online Courses & Etiquette Schools: Auersmont School of Etiquette and Protocol provide specialised programs for young people and digital workbooks for children and young people to work at their own pace.
​
References
For further reading and resources, check out the following links:
National Education Association Report on Social Skills

John Walker's book ‘Elements of Elocution’ refers to elocution as “the delivery of words formed into sentences, and these sentences formed into discourse, is the object of it; and as reading is correct and beautiful picture of speaking; speaking it is presumed, cannot be more successfully taught, than by referring us to such rules as instruct us in the art of reading.”  Wow…what a statement made in 1820!  I will break this statement down as John Walker has valuable insights that we can benefit from today when wanting to speak better.

What Is The Meaning Of Elocution and Speaking Well
Elocution goes beyond articulation; it is the art of expressing oneself fluently and effectively. It encompasses how a speaker uses tone, pitch, volume, and rhythm to add meaning and emotion to their words.  It’s about more than just saying words correctly—it's about saying them in a way that engages the audience and conveys the intended message with impact.  A speaker with good elocution can captivate an audience, hold their attention, and communicate their ideas with persuasive power.
Think of a compelling public speaker or a captivating storyteller. Their mastery of elocution makes their words heard and felt. Improving elocution requires practice in voice modulation, emphasis, pauses, and pacing to enhance the spoken word.

What You Can Learn In Elocution Classes
Pitch, Pace, Pause, and Power.  These elements are crucial in helping to elevate how you deliver a message.  Here's how each of the 4 P's work:
Pitch:  Vary the highness or lowness of your voice to emphasize points and create interest.
Pace:  Adjust the speed of your speech to match the content and keep your audience engaged.
Pause: Strategically use silence to emphasise key points and allow your audience to absorb information.
​Projection: Ensure your voice reaches everyone in the room by speaking clearly and loudly enough.

​Pro Tip
Punctuation marks are the traffic signals of written language.  They guide the reader in understanding the meaning and pace of the text. Here's a breakdown of how to use the punctuation marks:

• Period .
• Purpose: Marks the end of a complete sentence.
• Reading: Pause briefly, indicating a full stop in thought.
• Comma ,
• Purpose: Separates items in a list, clauses, and independent thoughts.
• Reading: Pause slightly, indicating a short break in thought.
• Question Mark ?
• Purpose: Indicates a question.
• Reading: Raise your voice at the end of the sentence, indicating inquiry.
• Exclamation Point !
• Purpose: Expresses strong emotion or emphasis.
• Reading: Use a more forceful and emphatic tone.

Practice Exercise
April’s heart pounded with excitement as she scanned the cluttered garage. (Rising pitch, increasing pace).
There was, tucked away behind the old boxes, a familiar gleam catching the dim light. (Rising pitch, accelerating pace)
Her beloved bike! (Exclaimed with joy, high pitch).  She brushed away the dust with trembling hands, revealing the faded blue paint. (Lower pitch, slower pace)
A wave of nostalgia washed over her as she remembered countless adventures on this trusty cycle. (Slower pace, dreamy tone).

Why Elocution Is Important
As you can see, elocution adds nuance to your speech, making it dynamic and engaging. Using elocution sharpens your ability to captivate and persuade.  You transform words into living entities by mastering pitch, pace, and pause, breathing life into narratives.  This skill is invaluable when connecting with others, allowing you to evoke emotions and paint vivid pictures.  Whether sharing a personal anecdote or delivering a persuasive speech, elocution empowers you to command attention, inspire, and leave a lasting impression.